Have you stumbled upon the profound realization of how essential it is to feel seen and valued?
When I look around at how our world is evolving, I believe the idea of feeling seen and valued is becoming increasingly difficult as we put profit before people, planet, and purposes. Yet it strikes me how important being seen and valued is, I guess because this fits into some of the six basic human needs (see below). Being seen and valued can offer us a sense of love & connection, helps us to feel significant, can assist with our growth by reminding us of who we are and what we have to contribute, and in some sense can keep us grounded in the certainty that others know we exist for something worth while. So unless someone, even in the smallest of ways, helps us feel valued and seen, we won't truly be our best selves.
The impact of feeling valued goes beyond our conscious awareness, shaping our self-perception and contributing significantly to our overall well-being.
Our Basic Human Needs
Love/Connection
Variety
Significance
Certainty
Growth
Contribution.
Consider the spouse contemplating a divorce, the disenchanted employee, or the disconnected child within a family or at school. What lies at the heart of their emotional disconnect? It's the fundamental human need to feel seen and valued – actually to understand our place in the world, to feel secure, and to be loved and acknowledged as a significant contributor to another's life. This need is not just a luxury; it's crucial for our emotional, physical, and psychological health.
The first step in addressing this need is understanding who you are and what you require.
This can begin with recognizing and working on your talents and strengths by subscribing to our Self-Organised Talent Mastermind Learning Group. Here you'll learn who you are, as well as who you are not. You'll gain insight into your triggers, overuse, and underuse patterns and what to do about these to ensure you keep yourself grounded in equillibrium, but more importantly, know your value.
Seek out a family member, friend, or associate who truly 'sees you' and can highlight your unique qualities.
Embrace the power of being 'Confidently Vulnerable' by asking others you trust, to help meet your needs.
Share your desires openly with others you trust
Ask this of your spouse or partner; express to them the little things that bring you joy, creating awareness of your needs by gently letting them know - reflecting on my own experience, my mother used to say to leave surprise notes in my husband's jacket pocket lol – a simple yet meaningful gesture to help him to see and value me in the ways "I" need.
In your professional realm, be courageous; schedule a meeting with your boss to discuss what's working well and what needs improvement. Collaborate on solutions for positive change and expressing what you need in order to flourish.
If you're a parent, set aside a day for quality time with your child and embody the change you wish to see in them through modelling.
For those in the role of a spouse or partner, consider actively thinking about what the other person needs to feel seen and valued. Ask yourself, when was the last time you did something special for them unexpectedly? If this is lacking its time to act and make changes.
If you're an employer, observe your team members. Are they genuinely happy? If not, delve into understanding their well-being and other needs, and acknowledge their achievements. Follow Richard Branson's advice, "nurturing employee satisfaction fosters a workplace culture where they, in turn, treat your customers like gold".
Caregivers also need to be seen and valued. Both partners and children can be taught to appreciate those who are for them by sometimes offering to lessen the burden and effectivey giving them the "day off" - when my children were younger we introduced "being king/queen for the day" where everyone rallied together to give either me or their Dad time to feel appreciated. More importantly, our children were able to practice being the care-givers by creating this conscious awareness in themselves.
To end, what had me thinking about feeling seen and valued was a recent trip to Rosebank, South Africa. It was after midnight and I observed a cleaner diligently preparing the shopping center for the next day, working so hard, I guess just doing their job. I pondered how often residents and shoppers within the area acknowledge the efforts of such "invisible" people who keep the area looking smart? Its so easy to forget to those individuals working somewhat "behind the scenes".
So with this, especially as this is a time for giving, take a moment to look around you ... what small gesture could you make over the festive season to bring a little light and show someone you "see" them as human beings, and value their contributions? More profoundly, that you value who and how they are.
Wishing you wonderful Christmas blessings if you celebrate in this way and sending wishes to each and everyone of you. Remember to show you love and cherish those you care about.
Warm regards,
Sam 🎄🎄🎄
Sam McDonald has been married for 30 yeas and has four children. They are a Strength-based family, using the CliftonStrengths® to enhance marriage & family life. Their home is in the beautiful Derbyshire countryside, UK and the FalseBay Coast, Cape, SA. She is a Futurist and Chief Visionary Officer for WITH-HUMANITY, a change-maker with a dream to disrupt our current meritocracy by "Unlocking the IntrinsicIdentity © of all Individuals in service of greater human engagement & flourishing" creating an all inclusive universal value metric and social system.
She is a Normative Visionary, Systems Thinker, Disruptor, Change-Maker & Activist. Graduating Cum Laude with an MPhil in Futures Studies from the University of Stellenbosch, after failing matric, she believes matching one's intrinsic wiring to how we learn yields exponential results, leap-frogging our current education system. She influences thinking in order to create futures-led enquiry & change towards a future we all want to be part of - linking strategic leadership and management with futures thinking. Her use of Interdependent Rules of Engagement© and the CliftonStrength® Assessment, as well as various Foresight Methodologies, are tools of choice to influence mindset change, and help people understand each other's unique world views, which are coloured by what she terms our Strengths Language.
She moved to South Africa in 1983 from Nottingham, UK and has lived in both dysfunction and functional environments. These she views as her "cross to bear is your gift to share" - serving as a bridge in understanding how to create function out of chaos.
She and her fellow Coaches, work with motivated clients using the CliftonStrength® Assessment as a power tool for:
Strength Based Interviewing & Recruitment
Assisting motivated individuals to fall in love with their careers and find the work they were born to do.
Working with high achievers to discover their value and purpose
Working with Start-ups to gain momentum, motivation & self-awareness of the Entrepreneur
Assisting Students to gain a greater self-awareness, expediting their career path, building confidence and self-esteem.
Working with individuals to re-engage in their work environments & leveraging their strengths
Working with marriage relationships to help you love again and understand the toxicity, reduce negative experiences, create understanding and, in turn, assist with long-term strategies for lasting transformation
Finding your true Purpose, Passion and Value in Life
Falling in love with your life and work again
She teaches the 'Interdependent Rules of Engagement© & Vulnerability' to focus on living 'Interdependence' as the key to healthier environments - choosing this as 'rules of engagement' over 'Dependence', 'Co-Dependence' & 'Independence'.
Follow the link if you would like to take the Strengths Assessment and learn more about how you are intrinsically wired and here to read more about how to discover who you are at your core.